Newcastle
The less said about that the better
Monday night football at Stamford Bridge.
With the weekend behind us we had the chance to plot a rise up the table.
A win would lift us from tenth to seventh. A draw would still see us hop above Wolves into ninth. A loss would bring Chelsea within a point of us.
Despite some key injuries, our line up felt like one of the strongest we’ve had for a while. With Trippier out, Livramento got a rare start and Big Dan Burn was captain for the night.
Unfortunately, if we thought we’d start with the sort of intensity we showed in the reverse fixture, we were to be sorely mistaken.
Chelsea began a move from their goalkeeper and eased the ball around the pitch with no real resistance. Palmer popped the ball out to Gusto who took on Burn out wide. Gusto delivered a rubbish ball into the box and Botman made a rubbish clearance which Cole Palmer hit with a rubbish strike. As the ball trickled towards the goal, I went and made a cup of tea, and on returning saw the ball nestle into the back of the net.
It was the softest of goals.
The replays showed that Jackson had got a little touch on it but if anything that deflected it closer to Dubravka. It was a goal we shouldn’t concede and a start we didn’t need. Botman had loads of time to either take a touch and play it calmly out or simply wallop it up the pitch. He did neither, kicking the ball about twelve yards to the predatory presence of Palmer.
Dubravka didn’t cover himself in glory either. Falling to his right and swatting like a lazy cat being teased with a ball of yarn. He seemed to have plenty of time to take an extra step and make a wholehearted dive. Maybe he was unsighted. Maybe he hadn’t expected us to defend quite so horrifically. Either way, an avoidable goal wasn’t avoided.
For the next twenty minutes or so, not a right lot happened.
Schar tried a speculative shot and I speculate that it may have cleared the stand.
Chelsea were having the better chances, although didn’t really test Dubravka. They fired two down his throat and one over the bar.
Gordon had pulled up earlier in the game and after going down under an innocuous tackle the physio came onto the pitch. One bend of the knee brought a yelp of pain from the winger. He was subbed for Murphy. Yet another injury. That one will really hurt the Scouser with Southgate looking on and the latest England squad due to be announced this week. Hopefully he’s just a bit sore but I’d imagine it would take more than soreness to force Flash from the pitch.
Murphy came on for him and hugged the right hand side. Almiron had switched to the left a few minutes earlier and they kept this shape.
Chelsea seemed to be taking it in turns to take out their former employee, Livramento, Sterling was the latest of these and got booked for his troubles.
A procession of football that wasn’t unlike what I watch during my nine year old son’s games saw both teams crowding the ball, booting it aimlessly up into the air and generally gifting possession back and forth until Bruno took control. A nice touch and flick forward found Isak and the splendid Swede curled the ball into the far corner. It was a fine finish.
At 1-1 it felt like we could take the game to Chelsea. We hadn’t been at our best but it was all square and all to play for.
Fab Schar played a fab switch to Willock in stoppage time. Willock took the ball well on his chest but clipped it over the bar. The flag went up but he was well onside. Had he found the net, VAR would have given the goal.
The second half saw us with the only chance for the first five minutes. A clever corner routine led to Bruno playing an exquisite ball across the six yard box. There were several in black and white goalside but none thought or moved quickly enough to capitalise.
At the other end Cole Palmer turned all six foot seven of Dan Burn inside out but his excellent ball fared the same as Bruno’s.
The game was getting sloppy and we were punished once again for it. With even more time than Botman had for the first goal, Burn chested the ball and then sliced it straight out of play. The throw in was in an advantageous position and within a couple of touches it fell to the feet of Palmer who smashed it through Botman’s legs and past Dubravka. This one was well hit and beat Dubravka with ease as he toppled in slow motion towards the ball.
It could have got worse as Sterling got away from Botman soon after. Botman seemed to muscle ahead of Sterling but was then nudged the ball back into his path. Sterling got into the box to meet an onrushing Dubravka. For a few seconds Sterling stuttered and Dubravka staggered about looking like Rocky trying to catch a chicken in the film of the same name. Sterling then found an inch of space and shot but Botman and Burn had got back onto the line and it was the latter who blocked the ball and got it away.
Burn headed a Murphy free kick high and wide and landed hard and painfully. Both he and Almiron were withdrawn for Krafth and Anderson.
We started to look threatening but our potshots around the box were coming to nothing. As Livramento lashed one into the chest of Enzo, Chelsea broke away once more. The ball was popped up to Jackson who span away from Botman. He ran the length of our half before passing the ball inside to Gallagher on the edge of the box.
Mudryk mugged Gallagher, nutmegged Schar, slalomed around Dubravka, before slotting it into the net with Krafth’s despairing efforts not enough to stop the ball crossing the line.
Miley and White were introduced for Bruno and Willock and the game tinkered slowly towards certain defeat. Just as I accepted the loss and felt myself succumbing to slumber, Miley played a forward ball to Murphy. Cucurella committed himself and Murphy rolled the challenge before thundering a strike into the top corner. Six minutes injury time to play and only a goal in it.
Unfortunately, we didn’t find the goal we needed.
A disappointing night and performance made even worse by injuries to Gordon and Burn. Howe afterwards seemed to think that Burn’s isn’t too serious but couldn’t give any information on Gordon’s. It’ll be a massive blow if he misses any games. The night could have been billed as a Gordon vs Palmer clash for a Euro spot. It’s likely one of them will be taken but unlikely both will.
Unfortunately, based on the outcome, Palmer will be leading that battle now.
If you’re looking for a positive spin, the fact that we are all disappointed not to beat Chelsea away speaks volumes about our opposite trajectories. At a place we never win, I wasn’t certain we would do so this time, but I also didn’t fancy us to lose. It was how avoidable the loss was that made it all the worse. Chelsea were useless but we were worse. We barely threatened yet scored two beauties. Chelsea barely threatened but we gifted them a trio of goals.
With ten Premier League games to go we’re now clinging onto the top half of the table, Chelsea a point behind us with a game in hand. I guess that’s why they call it the blues!
Stats via BBC Sport:
Chelsea 3 Newcastle 2 – Monday 11 March 8pm:
Goals:
Newcastle United:
Isak 43, Murphy 90
Chelsea:
Jackson 6, Palmer 57, Mudryk 76
(Half-time stats in brackets)
Possession was Chelsea 45% (42%) Newcastle 55% (58%)
Total shots were Chelsea 12 (7) Newcastle 11 (5)
Shots on target were Chelsea 8 (4) Newcastle 3 (1)
Corners were Chelsea 0 (0) Newcastle 4 (1)
Referee: John Brooks
Newcastle team v Chelsea:
Dubravka, Livramento, Schar, Botman, Burn (Krafth 69), Longstaff, Bruno (White 81), Willock (Miley 80), Almiron (Anderson 69), Gordon (Murphy 36), Isak
Unused subs:
Karius, Lascelles, Ritchie, Targett
(Doesn’t sound good on Anthony Gordon – Read HERE)
(Watch official Chelsea 3 Newcastle 2 match highlights HERE – All 5 goals and how did that go in?)
(Chelsea 3 Newcastle 2 – Match ratings and comments on all Newcastle United players – Read HERE)
(Chelsea 3 Newcastle 2 – Instant Newcastle United fan / writer reaction – Read HERE)
Newcastle United confirmed matches to mid-April 2024:
Saturday 16 March 2024 – Man City v Newcastle (5.30pm) BBC1
Saturday 30 March 2024 – Newcastle v West Ham (12.30pm) TNT Sports
Tuesday 2 April 2024 – Newcastle v Everton (7.30pm) TNT Sports
Saturday 6 April 2024 – Fulham v Newcastle (3pm)
Saturday 13 April 2024 – Newcastle v Spurs (12.30pm) TNT Sports
You can follow the author on Twitter @billymerlin
